Monday, October 4, 2010

Let's Kiss and Make-Up.

Oh, avid reader(s). Where should I start? The shame kills me, more than the ex-newbie's penchant for purple eye make-up that I'm sure you're sick of reading every time you visit my almost defunct blog. And here we thought we had a revival of sorts. Sigh. Working hours aren't what they used to be in the days of $1800 paychecks. But that's the price you pay for having nice things and nice homes and nice hangovers. Everything's nice and not-entirely-wholesome. Just the way we like it. Never could get rid of those cigarettes. Now I shall take them to the grave with me. Me, a pearl necklace and a pack of Marlboro Lights (I refuse to call them Marlboro Gold).

So, we have a new country! One fine July day this summer, I packed up all my seven years of adult life and moved out of what I will still call The City for old times' sake. I packed the books and the shoes and the old regrets and moved further East. Clearly, one was made to live in Asian cities. Dumplings and Pokka green tea, my friend(s). Too strong a bond to break just yet.

It has been three months that I have been away from The City and in this new life with new crazy rules and new crazy expectations. It bears repeating, this craziness. It is crazy. I have worked harder in these three months than in the last two years combined. I've also consumed alcohol like it was 2006. I have, however, not made any friends. Good friends. But that is expected - you know me, I was never charming and truth be told, me trying to be charming is even worse than me being Deep and Tortured. But some friends. Some not-friends that I hang out with out of sheer desperation and boredom. Some possible potential friends who just haven't seen how cool I am yet.

But mostly lonely. I sometimes stand outside bars and look longingly at people drinking and talking amongst themselves and I wish so desperately that they would just take me. Take me into their cool little groups and show me how to be a real adult. Because honestly, I feel like someone just dropped me in a planet full of rich, successful, intelligent and beautiful men and women and I'm now expected to make this up as I go along, gently correcting people who mistake my Zara cardi for MaxMara and pretending like selling handbags for a living really is, like, relevant. And that I meant for my hair to be this shaggy, that I'm making some sort of political statement about sharks by refusing to get a cut while actually I'm just struggling to find a hairdresser that doesn't cost more than my rent. I'm not even kidding. I so wish I was.

But you know, that's life. Or so I've been told by these MaxMara women.

I will, however, leave on a good note. I was out for dinner with some people from work who have just moved here from our US office. Girl A asks me where I'm from. I say I'm from India. Girl A has a strong, nasal, almost fake American accent.

Girl A: Where in India?
Me: From Delhi.
Girl A: (confused) Where.... is... that?
Me: It's, um, in the north? It's the capital of India?
Girl A: Ah. I grew up in a town full of Indians. It was like full of them. Everywhere. And then I moved to San Diego and I was like, where did all the Indians go?

Where did all the Indians go.

I didn't know what to say.

But I got a catchphrase out of it.

12 comments:

Heathcliffs Girl said...

"Standing outside bars.." seems def better than stalking the library for people who read similar stuff and could be potential friends!

tabula rasa said...

i gather you haven't been to chungking yet.

wv: calhoted

K said...

moving is good. a new country is even better. it's got to be done every now and then. good luck with the american geography though!

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

So which city are you in now?

If you don't want to reveal it on your blog or in your comment-space, do mail and tell me. I'm very curious.

J.A.P.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
km said...

Ha, almost missed this post.

//Indians are *still* fighting the cowboys. That's where they all went.

wiseling said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wiseling said...

Teeheehee. I wish I could ask that question.

How's the new city? K tells me you're beyond buried in work?

dreamer said...

Chanced here thru smwhere. And am glad its a good find!

Loved the A's reply!! They are actually so lame!

Hope you do get some good company soon! Would keep clued in.

Nikita Banerjee said...

My first visit to your blog and I wish you'd write some more often. :)

Shzaine said...

interesting writing ...do it more often rather dan stand outside bars waiting for people to grab u ...maybe u cud just make conversation.at first it seems weird but sometime people just click"

siggysparkle said...

I came back to see if you had posted again and found this...

The loneliness - I hear you there. Especially here, where I am practically in the same spot looking at the same people. And you and Jups have been so kind to let me in. Sometimes somehow I still feel like an outsider. Life in the city is a bit alien to me but it has already taught me so much :)